Rekindling Desire
📘 About This Book
For over a decade, Rekindling Desire has helped to restore and affirm pleasure-oriented sexuality for thousands of people. Drawing on respected therapist Barry McCarthy’s extensive knowledge and experience, this updated third edition offers strategies and solutions for no-sex relationships and low sexual desire. Contained within are psychosocial sexual skill exercises that will develop communication and confidence, as well as fascinating case studies that illustrate a wide range of couples’ sexual frustrations. The shame, embarrassment, and hesitancy that individuals feel with themselves, and the resentment and blame they can feel towards their sexual partners, are explored and put into context. With an individualized relapse prevention plan to ensure sexual gains are maintained and built upon, the book encourages couples to work as a team to minimize guilt and maximize intimacy. Rekindling Desire, 3rd edition fully celebrates female and male sexuality, challenges inhibitions and avoidance, and promotes satisfying, secure, and sexual relationships. Whether you are married, cohabitating, or dating, it will help renew sexual desire and empower people of all sexual orientations and ages on the path towards healthy, pleasure-oriented sexuality.
📖 Summary
Rekindling Desire by Barry McCarthy is a thoughtful psychological guide designed to help couples navigate the common and often distressing challenges of low sexual desire and no-sex relationships. Spanning 302 pages, this updated third edition builds upon more than a decade of proven success in restoring and affirming a pleasure-oriented approach to intimacy. McCarthy draws deeply upon his extensive clinical knowledge and experience as a respected therapist to offer practical strategies, realistic solutions, and compassionate insight into the complexities of modern sexual dynamics. At its core, the book tackles the heavy emotional burdens that frequently accompany sexual difficulties. It explores the profound shame, embarrassment, and personal hesitancy that individuals often feel within themselves, alongside the lingering resentment and blame that can accumulate toward a sexual partner over time. By putting these painful feelings into a clear psychological context, McCarthy helps couples move past self-blame and relational hostility, opening the door for genuine healing and renewed connection. To bridge the gap between understanding and action, the book provides psychosocial sexual skill exercises. These carefully structured activities are intended to help readers systematically develop better communication patterns and build lasting confidence in their intimacy. Furthermore, the text incorporates a series of fascinating case studies. These real-world examples illustrate a wide variety of sexual frustrations experienced by different couples, making the therapeutic concepts highly relatable and demonstrating that readers are not alone in their struggles. Recognizing that progress can be fragile, McCarthy also equips readers with an individualized relapse prevention plan. This strategic framework is designed to ensure that any sexual gains achieved through the book's exercises are carefully maintained and continually built upon for the long term. Ultimately, Rekindling Desire serves as an invaluable, empathetic resource for anyone looking to transform sexual frustration into a fulfilling, pleasure-focused partnership.
🎯 Key Lessons
⚖️ Pros & Cons
✅ Pros
Offers compassionate guidance based on extensive clinical experience.
Includes practical psychosocial exercises to improve communication.
Features relatable case studies illustrating diverse couple dynamics.
Provides a concrete relapse prevention plan for long-term success.
⚠️ Cons
Requires active effort and vulnerability from both partners.
May not replace intensive individual or couples therapy for severe trauma.
❓ FAQ
Who is the author of Rekindling Desire? +
The author is Barry McCarthy, a respected therapist with extensive experience in the field of sexuality.
What edition of the book is this? +
This is the updated third edition of Rekindling Desire.
What main problems does the book address? +
The book focuses on solutions and strategies for no-sex relationships and low sexual desire.
Does the book include practical exercises? +
Yes, it contains psychosocial sexual skill exercises designed to develop communication and confidence.
How does the book help prevent regression? +
It provides an individualized relapse prevention plan to ensure that sexual gains are maintained and built upon.







